Sunday, May 13, 2012

motherhood





they really do make my heart smile. when we recently changed the actual address for the blog; 4mcfarlands.blogspot.com doesnt really work for a family of FIVE mcfarlands; jay asked me where i came up with the title for the blog. sadly, i cant remember the exact words that came out of hadley's mouth but i remember her doing something so wonderfully precious that i looked at her and told her she made my heart smile. the blog was new and i was still looking for its identity...
since then i have been fortunate to add two more little blessings to my life. as i celebrate my first mother's day, with my family complete, i find myself looking back to that 1st mothers day. hadley was maybe all of eight weeks old and i think it safe to say i was lost! i had no idea what i was really in for...motherhood is hard and it didn't take me long to figure that out! but it took me even less time to figure out how wonderful it also is. mothers say it all the time "the most challenging and rewarding job you could ever have".
i knew in the 6th grade this was my life's calling. up until that point, i was planning to be an astronaut but at the ripe old age of 12 , i changed my mind. my science teacher's dad worked for nasa and came to visit our class. after listening to him, i realized the commitment nasa would require and decided it simply wouldnt "jive" with full time motherhood so i dropped my dream to work in space and never looked back.
here i am, four years from that first mother's day and three sweet babies later. i quickly realized being a mommy was hard, but not necessarily how hard it would be. i am sure i thought "as soon as hadley sleeps through the night, this will get easier" or "as soon as she stops spitting up" or "if we can figure out this eczema"... but really, as soon as you clear one "parenting hurdle" there is another one waiting. i didnt know there would be so many questions about my ability involved with following "my dream". so many times i have wondered who in the world thought i was equipped to guide these wonderful girls from infancy to woman hood? am i a good mother? am i enough? i could go on but i am sure you can fill in the blank with questions of your own...
that is when it hits me; well maybe not at that very moment...i could be asking myself one of those questions in the middle of some crazy, teary breakdown and in those cases it takes me an extra minute to pull it together!
at any rate, i always come to the same conclusion. it wasnt anyone on this earth who determined i was cut out for this...no "person" decided it was "ok" if these children were left under my daily care....it was our Heavenly Father who hand picked hadley, audrey and mallory to spend their days with me. that blows my mind. it wasnt someone with human decision making skills...so there was no room for error here. these girls are meant for me and i am meant for them. remembering that lets me know that i am enough. my best isnt just "good enough" for these precious little girls...it is exaclty what God has in mind. if i place my life and their precious lives in his hands, i am doing exactly what i have been called to do and i will not fail those sweet faces. i will be enough. 
to all of you who may ever doubt your ability or success as a mother, just remember you were chosen to be the mother of your babies! you are more than enough...you are exactly what God has planned. 

and to my girls, i pray my focus is always on our Lord and savior and so i will be the mommy God has in mind for you. i love each of you more than i can begin to express with mere words. 
you make my heart smile...


Sunday, May 6, 2012

does it get any sweeter?

 
 
 
 
 


mallory laine
8 days old
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Friday, May 4, 2012

more mallory

the pictures keep coming...

hadley and audrey spent time in "photo therapy" while in the hospital and mallory was no different.  well i guess she was as her jaundice levels were not as bad as audrey's and not even close to the level of hadley but still, she spent time in the bilibed...  everyone who came to visit kept telling us what great color mallory had.  i just kept laughing and reminding them that a pale woman like me does not make children with beautiful, olive skin...she is just jaundiced!



in the car seat as we are getting ready to be discharged
 
 


finally home! all three of my girls.
 
 


first bath at home...it started out as an extremely calm experience...


and quickly turned into all out tears
 


but in no time, she was calm and sleeping again...


sister time
 
 
 
 
 
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Wednesday, May 2, 2012

04.12.12

so for a type a planner, like myself, juggling the arrival of baby number 3 and relocating to a new state all within 4 weeks, left me wanting something to "control".  every ounce of my being wanted mallory to be delivered in the same hospital, by the same wonderful doctor who brought hadley and audrey into this world.  jay and i could have waited to move this summer but i also wanted to make the move as "easy as possible" and to me that meant moving while child number 3 was still sight unseen!  so all of that lead to scheduling a delivery date in mobile, with my ob, and praying that mallory didn't try and come ahead of schedule.

 i am/was so very thankful everything worked out as we "planned"...God is so good! 

just a few pictures from delivery day

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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Tuesday, May 1, 2012

when there were 2

i have lots of catching up to do around here.  the pictures are uploaded and most of them speak for themselves so i will be relatively "quiet" for the next few posts but don't get used to that. 

easter sunday morning can be a bit hectic trying to take pictures before church so jay had a brilliant idea and we took pictures of the girls in their easter dresses the saturday night before. 

these are the last pictures i have of my sweet hadley and audrey as "the only children"...


 
 
 
 
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