Tuesday, March 4, 2014

dear hadley

my sweet baby girl
for a couple of weeks i have been trying to prepare my head and my heart for this day...your sixth birthday. a dear friend is pregnant with her second sweet baby and when talking with her after her first ultrasound appointment, i started to say "what a blessing!" but hadley grace, you are so much more than that. the word blessing just does not seem to be quite enough.
there are simply no words for how i love you...  how your smile, especially in its currently toothless state, warms my soul. you are so kind and loving and the best little mother hen to those little sisters of yours. you three are too much for my heart to handle.
i will never forget waking up and feeling my very first contraction; it was 7am on the dot on monday, march 3 and i was beside myself to finally hold you in my arms. i had not planned on waiting another 34 hours but such is life. oh to finally see you! you were so small. so precious. so innocent.
but fast forward 6 precious years... sometimes you are so observant of the world around you it breaks my heart. i would give anything to keep you in a preciously happy little bubble forever but that is not real life and it would not actually do you any favors... so all i know to do is seek God's will in how to raise you. to be a vessel for showing you His love and how you should love others. you are well on your way to being a young lady...it brings me to tears when i let it. not because i am sad you are growing up, not because those baby years are gone or even the fact on sunday mornings you prefer ballet flats to the "little white church shoes" i have always had you in...but because at 6 i am already so overflowing with joy for who you have become.  my heart is so full sweet girl. so very full.
to say you are a blessing is truly not enough.
all my love
march 4, 2008
march 1, 2014

Friday, October 25, 2013

unspeakable joy

dearest augie catie
this time four years ago (it's 947pm on 10/25), i was probably still upset that zea's was out of pumpkin cheesecake when we all went to dinner.  your grandparents and aunts and uncles were in town to welcome you to the world the next morning and if you remember anything about your life in mobile, which i feel certain you won't remember much, it is that it rained...a lot.  we were going to have dinner on the causeway but it was raining; remind me to tell you the time we braved a horrible thunderstorm for shashe's 50th birthday; it was over a year before you were born but fresh in our minds that felix's parking lot floods so we chose zea's.  there were very few days during any of my pregnancies that i didn't end with dessert and i was beside myself with the thought of the pumpkin cheesecake on the menu.  if you are wondering if this post is about cheesecake or you, give me just another second.  we all had a lovely dinner and when i ordered my cheesecake, the waiter told me they were out....he obviously missed my extremely large belly and the fact that i REALLY needed a slice.  oh well...been dreaming about pumpkin cheesecake for 4 years now. 
but that next morning, i couldn't have been thinking less about the darn cheesecake! i couldn't wait to meet you; your daddy and i were so excited!  but so relaxed at the same time; dr carpenter and i talked football on the way to the delivery room. my nurse, same one i had for hadley, took guesses about your weight; i guessed exactly.  you were 8lb of love; another ounce would have been more than i could handle. 
your very first picture
nurse frannie showing you off, through the nursery window, after your first bath
                  holding daddy's hand                            possibly my most treasured picture from that day
first birthday

second birthday; such a precious little sister

third birthday
you fill each day with such joy, audrey! i simply can't put it into words for you; but i'll keep trying until one day you are the momma and all in one instant, you will understand why shashe still calls me her baby and i am mid way through my 30's.  i am beyond blessed to be your mother.  God really out did himself with this blessing.  you love big, baby girl. sometimes i am beyond exhausted by the time i am tucking you in at night but there is always time for one of your "hugs and kisses"...always. i can't imagine a day without that fabulous smile and precious personality.  yesterday after we dropped hadley at school, you made up a few stories for me and wanted me to do the same for you...my first one started out "once upon a time there were two sisters; mallory and audrey"... you interrupted me and requested to not only be named ariel but you were apparently a princess; not just a girl. your brain moves faster than i can keep up with.  we are constantly in stitches; but i have to make sure you know i am laughing with you and not at you because, just like your momma, you wear it all on your sleeve sweet girl.  i love you.
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Tuesday, August 6, 2013

my precious kindergartener

Sweetest Hadley,
I am a loss for words much of the time lately; don't ask your daddy about that as his opinion might not be the same.  But this past nearly 2 years has been a whirlwind and I find myself "thinking" more than is typical for me and so I talk a little bit less.  I believe it was August 7, 2011 we found out we were starting down the current path of this journey we are on. In other words, that was the day we found out I was pregnant with Mallory and we would be moving to Meridian.  Yes; that is right...two life changing events presented themselves within 45 minutes of one another.  Always remember God is so good and never forget He has a sense of humor.  
The move to Meridian meant you would be going to full day school once 5k hit; not the sweet little half day I am used to.  And no longer would you be in the cute little bubble of your church school with 10ish students in your class.  No...5k in Meridian meant full day school with 21 other sweet 5 year olds. It's the real world!  I was ready to come and get you by lunch time; you have just been gone far too long and my heart misses you so.
But baby girl, you were made for learning.  You are the first child of two first children; I have spent years trying to mellow and tone down my type a tendencies and your daddy is an engineer. Need I say more?  You embody it; you LOVE school.  So leaving you this morning was hard but I know you are having the time of your little 5 year old life!  I didn't cry and neither did you.  Though I did go back to your class after dropping you off so I could have daddy take our picture; I forgot the first time...guess I was nervous afterall.  I fully expect to cry when I drop you off for college though.  Because that will be all together different from this morning.
I always wanted to stay home with my babies; your daddy was convinced I'd be bored and need to go back to work and I wondered myself if I could do it.  You are the first of my three beautiful, inside and out, blessings and I am so proud to call you my daughter.  
I miss you terribly while you are away but Hadley, I am so proud of the wonderfully sweet and super smart girl you have become.  Continue to consider everyone your friend and let your heart be bigger than you are.  You are in "the big girl world now" and I know your being there will make it a better place!  So I am going to do my best to share you. 
Driving home from school and listening to you tell me all about your day, my heart was so full...I swear it physically hurt.  But that is what your daddy would say "hurts so bad, it feels good".  I've always laughed at him when he says that but I think I now know what he means.
All my love,
so excited!
pink toms make a uniform fun! and who doesn't love that missing tooth?

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